||Befriend Your Own Beautiful Self||
“O my friends, there are no friends.”
A person with whom we can be in our true self; with whom we feel inspired, motivated and enthusiastic, is a friend. FRIENDS…. The true treasure of one’s life. With friends we can talk for hours that too without thinking much of what is right or wrong with no fear of judgement. A friend is someone who brings out the best from us. Friendship is that blue wide sky where one can fly high and can unfurl its wings like a free bird while touching the rainbow of equality and individuality; at the same time it’s a green grassy mesmerizing garden where one can compose and sing the song of one’s own choice, while sitting together on a growing tree. A true friend can be a person who does not belong to your blood line, can be a person from your family, it can be a pet, a good book, or a personal diary etc. And the list goes on and on but did you ever think that one can be a best friend of one’s own self? Did you ever realise that to befriend our own selves can miraculously change our life ? And there won’t be any chance to get ditched in this relationship. It’s a completely win-win situation.
So, next time before making a new friend think of having a tete-e-tete with your own beautiful self, which may help you to be around like-minded and positive people. Here’s some benchmarks to light up fire in you to create the best version of you.
1. Create Your Own Happiness
The secret of happiness is as simple as nails on the fingers. At the onset of everyday we have two choices — either to be happy or to be sad. Always choose to be happy anyhow. Try to find out your happy places. Carry a child-like spirit throughout life to preserve a happy and care free spirit in you. When Life gives you a lemon try to make a lemonade out of it instead of just crying over the split milk. Stop manufacturing unhappiness in yourself, though, life has over burdened the happiness a lot but still at every disappointment ask your heart to be positive and thankful because it could have been worse than this. Try to be happy with no reason at all and that’s absolutely not impossible though it demands more efforts and determination but once the mind cultivates this habit it will be worth living, loving and laughing more. So, befriend happiness and enjoy life.
2. Tell Worry, You’re Not in a Hurry
If someone presses your throat very hard until you feel like choking or losing your vital powers, this is what, worrying all the time, at every matter, can throw your mental and physical health in an Abyss. Worrying is a destructive and unhealthy state of mind. One never was born with such a mental state. It’s always that one acquires this habit during the worst life experiences and it becomes a habit for the rest of life. As soon as a thought of worry trying to peep into the human mind to rule the life try to destroy it by looking at the brighter side of the coin. Give it a fire of positive vibes to burn them into the ashes and quickly shut all the doors of your belief for the darkness. Do you remember the last time when you laughed your heart out loudly and got ache in your cheek bones? If not then find a reason to laugh with all your heart and soul to defeat your demonic worries. Keep your mind uncluttered to plan your priorities systematically and to throw your worries in the trash bin.
3. Heal the Defeats
In the journey of taking one’s life to the zenith of happiness, it’s not that one will always be a winner; sometimes one has to face defeats too while climbing the ladder of true efforts. But, that should not be the matter to regret. Adopt an attitude of “I Shall Heal My Defeats” and see the miracles it will attract to one’s life. Always chase the right path and don’t emphasise constantly on the obstacles only instead of the possibilities. Don’t crawl like a half- defeated person. Always stand up and step ahead to face the obstacles and see them weakening at every bit of it. Take the defeat as the glory of learning a lesson and gaining knowledge through it. There is no difficulty where one cannot overcome from. Keep empowering the mind with clear possibilities by determining the positive attitude towards every defeat.
4. Theory of 3R
The theory of the 3R teaches us to Relax, Reflect and Recreate. Whenever stuck at a point, or some tired thoughts creating restlessness in the mind and body, or feeling like the nervous system is on a perpetual binge, try to accept your fatigued mind and heart and stop the over-trying attitude which is draining one’s efficiency. A healthy mind and body always felicitates maximum powerful and positive vibes. At this moment, one needs to ‘Relax’ to keep the mind quiet and avoid all the hectic haste. Try to be calm and peaceful. Handle the situation gracefully. Let the mind blast- out all the stress and strains. Try to practice this Relax Moment after every stressed situation even for a fraction of moment, it will produce power in oneself and upgrade the quality of experience to ‘Reflect’ over the consequences sensitively which causes the stressed moments in life. After this Relax and Reflect round, try to ‘Recreate’ a good-humoured, happy and a pleasant person in you without thinking oneself as an Atlas, carrying the world on the shoulders. Just plan the work and don’t overdo things at once.
5. Believe in Yourself
” If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” (Mark ix. 23.)
This verse doesn’t mean that by believing you are necessarily going to get everything you want. Perhaps, this is harmful for all. But, when you learn to believe in yourself it becomes possible to kick out the impossibles. As when you expect the best from yourself you create a magnetic aura around you and as per the law of attraction it tends to bring the best from you. It’s possible that you’re not performing well in your life, may be you are not able to stand up and kick the ball to win, at that difficult time start looking around you, give a glance to your surroundings, read some motivational books, chase some inspiring personalities and drop a concept of faith in your subconscious mind and feel the new power empowering you and turning you into a strong believer and an achiever of happiness.
6. Believe in Your Higher Power
Did you ever see the God getting tired, exhausted, fatigued and fainted?? There is no end of His creation. From Him, firstly, we can learn the power technique to help ourselves when we feel dull and less energetic. We can believe in His power technique to use our energy in the right direction and for the right task. Our life is crowded with tedious nonstop stressful tasks which is a must to accomplish whether we want to do or not. But you can use the Power Technique to get the strength and energy back by using the energy wisely and keeping yourself calm and happy. Secondly, we can learn the attitude to be positive and optimistic in all the situations. Believe that God will always help you to overcome your difficulties. Believe in your Higher Power as it is the most amazing fact of human existence. No one can deny the constantly available Higher Power working tirelessly, controlling the universe, re- strengthening the sick, weak, defeated and scattered lives, and refreshing the true wealth of life i.e. Happiness. If there is a keen desire, sincere efforts, profound and intense longing and a true deep belief in something you will get it for sure and that is where Higher Power works.
Aristotle quoted that “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” it doesn’t matter whether you have good friends or not, even if you have friends, the ultimate truth is that if you don’t befriend your own beautiful self, that will be just like one is crowded with friends but feeling like no friends. So, next time before making friends, first know your own strength and weaknesses, know yourself as a whole then create a like minded friend circle to grow and bloom together beautifully.
Anita Gehlot is a poet and writer from India.
*Submitted by: Dr. Shalini Yadav – International Director of Academic and Literary Affairs (India)